Being a working mom makes me a BETTER mom....

First of all, let's get one thing straight: I can not stand the term working mom. ALL mothers are working mothers. Their location of said work is really the only difference. Some mom's just stay at home versus others that outsource their talents. Now, in yesterday's post, I mentioned that being a "working" mom made me a better mother to my children. How is that possible? How can I even be a good mom if I am not with them all the time. I'll tell you how: It's called QUALITY verus QUANTITY. Now, before I go off, these are only my personal opinions and mirror my life and circumstances. I do not speak for mother's every where, but I do hope that I can speak for those that may not be able to wordsmith their feelings onto paper. Or in this case, screen. Now, I love my children. They are my moon, earth and stars, but i also love myself just as much. Yes, I said it. I love ME, too. I think that when we become mothers, our love for ourselves quickly becomes secondary to the needs of our children. Our time is even more precious and valuable, and we have to make some hard choices. I never, ever wanted to be a stay at home mom, let alone a mother. My children were a happy "accidental blessing" and I can not imagine my life without them. I salute the mom's that make the decision to stay home. Sometimes it's a necessity, and others deem staying home important to the upbringing of their children. I could never do that. Now, I know what you are thinking: Oh Marie, you are so silly, of course you could. NO, really, I couldn't. I cherish my alone ADULT time. Being alone with my children all day, every day would seriously be TORTURE for me. Besides, I have the coolest job in the world at one of the best companies in the world. That helps TREMENDOUSLY, I'm sure. But even if my working conditions were not so ideal, there is something to be said about being able to leave to have quality adult conversations that don't revolve around Dora and that damn monkey. Or asking someone to "crazy shake" and repeat primary numbers repetitively. I travel for work as well, and those are delicious mommy moments. Now, that's not to say I do not miss my chidlren. Please do not misinterpret this as lack of love. I am a better mother because when I come back to my children, whether from a business trip or the office, I WANT to see them. I WANT to play with them, WANT to read them a book and cherish the time I am actually with them. If I had to be around them all day, every day, they woudl eventually feel the gradual resentment or disconnection from me. I can not begin to tell you how many times I have heard other moms say "I just need a 15 minute break." Unfortunately, Stay At Home Mom's (SAHM from now on) aren't afforded that luxury. Their children are there morning, noon and night. These brave moms are referees, theater goers, lego police, art critics, movie attendants, personal cooks, chauffeurs and many other things: TO THE SAME PEOPLE. Every day. Can you imagine? At least at work, I am offered variety, conversations, different environments. NOw, I am not saying my situation is better or worse than that of the SAHM, but for me, it's what works. My children can tell that I am genuinely happy to greet them after a long day in the office. If there is one thing kids are amazing at spotting, it's if you are being GENUINE. They know when you aren't fully engaged. Kids crave your full attention. That's ultimately what they want from you. And funny enough, they would rather have 10 minutes of fully engaged, unadulterated and undivided attention that three hours of half listening or head nodding. Just like adults, they can tell when you are not listening. So moms, regardless of your situation, ask yourself this: am I giving ALL of myself to my kids at least 10 minutes of my day? Do they have my complete attention? One of my main hopes for this blog is to get conversations going (along with a cathartic release of my inner thoughts) so feel free to leave me a comment, thought or suggestion. Just be nice. Ok.. that's enough of that.. my attention is now going to the TV. Have a wonderful Friday night!